Hakuna Matata

WARNING: Rave reviews upcoming.  Words cannot describe how amazing our few days in Kenya were.  As I may have mentioned before, this trip was mostly paid for by a grant my dad received to fund his work.  Part of this money was budgeted by the foundation for safari.  Presumably, they had read The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, and know what happens to people who try to spend too much time working themselves to death in Africa.  By the way if you haven’t read this book I highly recommend it.  ANYWAYS we chose to do our Safari at Kitchwa Tembo on the Masai Mara.  Best. Choice. Ever.  Kitchwa Tembo is ranked in the top 10 internationally for tented safari camps and it’s not without good reason.  We spent three days there, doing an average of two game drives a day.  I don’t even know where to start praising this place.  The wildlife was FANTASTIC.  We saw everything I had hoped to and more.  Big five? Check, check, check, check, and check.  Hippos, zebras, giraffes, cheetahs, hyenas, jackals, ostriches, you name it and we probably saw it.  Through all of our wonderful experiences I have a few observations. 

Everything, and I mean everything, is better in baby form.  I made a list of everything we saw, and a parallel list of everything we also saw as a baby.  It should be noted that I am a stereotypical teenage girl in that I really really like cute things… so seeing the baby animals was always my favorite.  Did you know hyena cubs are completely dark, with none of the spotting of the adults?  Well they are, and its adorable.  Hippo babies are also unexpectedly cuddly looking- although I wouldn’t touch one with a 10 foot pole due to how dangerous those giant herbivores are.  Even though they are as common here as squirrels are at home, zebra foals definitely my favorite and I never got tired of looking at them.  

Observation number two: When they tell you to keep your tent zipped because of monkeys… LISTEN.  We were great about this until the last day.  The only thing we had to do that day was eat breakfast and go to the airstrip (FYI it was dirt) so I chose to sleep in.  When my mom left to go get breakfast she left the tent unzipped.  Readers should know that I am a VERY heavy sleeper.  I was woken up by monkey screeching which I assumed was from outside of the tent.  I rolled over and saw a little red-tailed monkey with his head and one paw through the door.   He saw me and froze.  If he could have talked I imagine he would have said something like “Umm hi I was just… looking for the bathroom…”  I didn’t move.  He didn’t move.  Then I jumped out of bed yelling BAD MONKEY! As if he was a dog I could punish for getting on the couch.  The monkey and his rather large group of buddies waiting outside the tent scrammed.  Upon further inspection, I found that they had eaten all the cookies the butler had left with our tea while I was asleep.  And yes we had a butler who brought us tea and cookies in the morning.  Too cool :). 

My mom and I, being biology nerds, had a list of rare animals we wanted to see.  The list included servals, genets, pangolins, klipspringers, otters, honey badgers, and aardvarks, which are so rare that the Maasai say if you see one you will live another hundred years.  Much to my surprise and delight, we actually saw two servals and a genet! They are so rare that our guide said that in all her years of working there she had only seen them a few times.  A word on our guide, Lucy: She was absolutely amazing!  She had such extensive knowledge of the animals that even my mom the biology professor was happy with it, which is rare.  She is a Maasai and so was able to share invaluable information about their culture and how the safari company gave back to the local community, which assuaged my fears about them exploiting the local tribes.  She was also an excellent spotter and tracker, which led to us seeing so many animals.  Of the things we didn’t see, especially the pangolin and aardvark… well seeing them seems more like a crazy pipe dream than anything else so I wasn’t disappointed. 

Final observation: I’m lame.  Really I am.  The number of Lion King references I made in my head, and yes even out loud, was pathetic.  Especially when the sun was rising.  When else are you going to get the chance to say “Everything the sun touches…” and every time I saw a warthog I had to say Pumba :) sadly there are no Timons in Kenya.  Lion King references make sense considering where we were but I also found myself quoting Harry Potter.  We stayed in “Hemmingway tents” with rooms and running water.  They had real beds and showers in the tents and I’m still shocked about that.  I felt like Harry Potter when he first walks into an apparently normal tent only to find it was actually more like a house.  It felt like magic!

I wish I could describe all of the amazing things we saw, but that would make this post even more ridiculously long than it already is.  Let it suffice to say that it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.  Go on Safari.  Trust me it’s worth it.  And if I could put my two cents in, go to Kitchwa Tembo.  Considering the facilities, the food, and the services the price was definitely fair.  And you can’t beat swimming in an infinity pool that looks out on the Mara, and watching zebras and impalas run by as you do.  The whole experience gets five stars, without a doubt.  


Liam quote of the day: Lucy was telling us what elephants eat (they are herbivores) and Liam looked at her, completely dumbfounded, and said "No! Elephants eat peanuts!"