Goodbye Africa

Is it possible to have culture shock in your own home culture? Because this all feels really weird.  Roads, electricity, showers, western food, plumbing, a mattress… last night I tried to tuck my mosquito net in before going to bed, only to feel really dumb when I realized there wasn’t one.  It’s hard to revert back to normal life after living such a surreal one for two months.  Waking up to an alarm clock (snooze, snooze, snooze…), going to school, having organized classes with homework, hearing people speak fluent English, cafeteria lunches, working at Weiss markets instead of the clinic, everything just seems… weird.  Not that I’m complaining- I’m ecstatic to be home.  Everything is just so different.      

This summer I attended the national Episcopal Youth Event (EYE) in Minnesota.  One of our main speakers was Cameron Vivanco, a long-term missionary in Ecuador, who was a really inspiring speaker.  She said that there are five stages to post mission, or really to any journey to a third-world country, mission or no.  (For a clarification of the whole “missionary” thing, see my dad’s post Candy for Converts)  I can’t quite remember what she said word for word so forgive me if I mess something up.  Feast, fight, flee, fit, and fruit-the five Fs of post mission.  Step 1: Feast.  When first returning from a trip, you tend to really, really happy- it’s awesome to sleep in a real bed and take showers and eat good food and everything else.  Trust me- it’s awesome.  Step 2: fight.  You get angry.  People ask, Oh how was your trip?  And you try to tell them about all the wonderful things you saw and learned, and all the wonderful people you met, but they just space out and smile and nod.  They don’t really want to hear about it, they just want to hear Oh it was great! Then move on with their day, having fulfilled their social obligations by asking.  Honestly, I’ve stopped trying to tell people.  You get angry that no one seems to give a *darn* about the problems of the world.  Step 3: Flee.  You flee your home culture.  People have done things like refuse to take hot showers, eat fancy foods, or buy new clothes.  Eventually we all realize that this helps no one, and just puts us in a bad mood (cold showers-enough said). 

Then come the really important steps.  Step 4: Fit.  In step 4, you give up.  You accept that it’s just the way of the world and you stop worrying about it.  You shove the memories away; try not to feel the guilt and shame.  Many people are successful with this.  They forget the bad stuff, pat themselves on the back for going at all, and settle in.  This is bad- you do NOT want to stop at step 4, but sadly so many people do.  Step 5 is Fruit.  In an ideal world, everyone would reach this step.  Fruit is what you get out of the trip, how it changes you and inspires you make a change.  Some people start their own non-profit organizations, some decide to be long term missionaries, some just resolve to be nicer to people in everyday life.  I think I know what my fruit is- this trip has made an everlasting impression on me.  After receiving my bachelors in biology, I’ll study for an MD PhD in tropical medicine.  I have every intention to change the world, and that is partly because of this trip. 

I don’t know how long it will be until I come back to South Sudan.  College looms large in my future (finally), and after that I don’t know where life will take me.  Maybe I’ll be back next year, maybe after college, maybe never.  I don’t know.  One thing I do know- I will always remember these months under African skies.