You Might Be In Africa If...

·         Airport security means one guy sitting on a plastic chair by the exit with an AK-47.

·         Random people walk up to you, inform you that they are police officers or wildlife conversationalists and expect you to give them money.

·         You spend breakfast one morning debating with your friends how much your respective dowries should be in cows and shillings. 

·         You see an entire family, 20 liters of water, a pig, and a crate of chickens loaded onto a motorcycle, none of them wearing helmets (not even the chickens!) and aren’t surprised.

·         Father daughter bonding is setting up the family mosquito nets.

·         You charge your phone from a car battery-that’s still attached to the car. 

·         Backpack on the front and baby on the back is normal.

·         A small child goes missing and is picked up a police man.  Before returning the child, the police officer expects a $100 bribe.

·         I’ll be there at noon means expect me at 2 in the afternoon or later.

·         People carry more things on their head than they do in their hands.

·         Your popcorn comes in a can and your eggs have never been refrigerated.

·         You drink a cup of tea in the morning instead of coffee.

·         The milk at the grocery store isn’t refrigerated and doesn’t need to be-because it’s been so heavily pasteurized it won’t expire for another 4 months.   

·         If you have a fever, there’s a 95% chance you have malaria- but Hakuna Matata, because Malaria is like the common cold, you get it, you treat it, you move on.

·         You walk into the shower and find a goat eating your bar of soap.